An article in Brandeis University's "The Justice"

Between Boundaries
Students spent time in Israel and on the Mexican border to learn about cultures in conflict
by Dafna Fine

For some, the barbed wire creates the illusion of a prison. Swarms of people grow restless, waiting up to two or three hours in the heat. Words of hatred and political divide are spray painted across the wall and scream to come alive. Young soldiers are tired from 12-hour shifts at the border and Students Crossing Boundaries fellows, along with others, prepare their passports for inspection, but they, however, look past the hate and divide and instead try and understand the conflict.

Moving forward

I have been thinking a lot about the meaning of my time at Annunciation House and my time on the border.

Could I aguantar el calor...could I stand the heat this summer?

It seems I did.

But I'm realizing that the heat doesn't just exist along the border.

By the heat I am referring to
1)the high temperatures
2)the difficult work
3)the implications that follow from the work

Tu eres mi otro yo...Ya viene la paz [I promised to share this a while back...]

Father Arturo Bañuelas spoke at the July 14th Procession and Mass. It was quite moving. Following the mass I approached him and asked if there was a way I could get a transcript of his speech. He responded that he had some notes, but elaborated on the spot. He presented me with the copy of the notes he used at the mass...

Here they are!

Final Day--- Day 73

I am now in North Carolina...my time on the border is over.

I have a lot to process and will be posting more about the last few days very soon.
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At the despedida (going-away party) last night, I said a few words to the guests as I futilely combated tears, thanking them and letting them know how much they, the work, and the mission of the house had affected me:

"Ya he metido casi todo en mi maleta, pero dejo mi corazon aqui con ustedes."
[I've already put almost everything in my suitcase, but I leave my heart here with you]

Celebrating (written Sunday August 1st)

I really enjoyed myself yesterday.

The morning and early afternoon were wonderful, in spite of (and in part due to) a torrential downpour.

I've been metaphorically beating my head against the wall trying to decide whether to write about this or not.

I'm still deciding whether to post this.

For now, I will just write.

Yesterday morning I went to Ciudad Juarez with four other volunteers. We went to the Mercado Cuauhtémoc in downtown Juarez...about a five minute walk from the Paso del Norte International Bridge.

A random mix

Today I am just going to list a few moments, instances that have occurred over the past few days that I don't want to forget. There isn't really a theme (at least there isn't one that I have yet to notice). If my writing in the post develops to reveal a theme, it's because I've figured it out while writing.

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Just so you know, I decided from the beginning to make this blog a "stream of conciousness." If I end up figuring something out while I am writing, I want(ed) you to be figuring it out with me, too. For me, this blog isn't about projecting a certain image of the frontera, El Paso, Annunciation House, or myself. My goal is to help anyone who is reading to "get into my head" so you can see what I've seen. I hope my mind isn't too confusing of a place. If it is, my apologies. There happens to be a lot new non-material acquisitions (ie experiences, memories) stored up there that are in need of sorting and classification.

An interesting interview

that pretty much summarizes much of the Mexican position on a number of border issues (mas o menos)

Former Mexican president Vicente Fox (Calderon's predecessor) speaks with Deborah Soloman of the NY Times:

You’re the former president of Mexico. What do you think of the Arizona immigration bill that is scheduled to take effect this week? It would require immigrants to carry their registration papers at all times and risk jail for not complying.
I think there’s a big misunderstanding on the value of migrants. Unfortunately, since Sept. 11, that very sad day, we have not advanced on the issue. On the contrary, xenophobes have taken over; governments like the one in Arizona are taking negative decisions with a very blinded look at the future.

runways and enforcement run amok

On Friday I went with the BAE (Border Awareness Experience) Group from UC-Boulder to UTEP (University of Texas at El Paso) to have a small Q&A session with Dr. Irasema Coronado, assistant provost from the Political Science Dept. (she was fairly radical so far as bureaucrats go) and a recent Obama appointee to the Joint Public Advisory Committee of the Commission for Environmental Cooperation.

Speaking with her about the border, especially after talking to the DEA Agent Gilberto Gonzalez really made me think a lot about the complex dynamics that are at play along the border...specifically el papel of the US.

One of the points that Coronado kept bringing up was the role of economics, specifically that of jobs for US citizens/residents. She was not talking about the jobs that "illegal aliens" supposedly take from US citizens.

Day 57 (yes I counted it up)

Time seems to be traveling so quickly...only two weeks stand between me and my flight back to North Carolina.

I find that incredibly frightening.

As I sat on a bench outside Annunciation House, at the intersection of San Antonio Ave. and St. Vrain I stared off into the distance and thought about my time here. I thought about what leaving would feel like, but I couldn't focus on that for long. Bubbling instead to the surface of my consciousness over and over again was my frustration.

I began to feel my eyes welling up with hot salty tears (really not that different from the the droplets that constantly form on my skin here due to the extreme heat and lack of "refrigerated air"). My eyes were sweating with frustration.

let's start with the good news

The procession and mass went off without a hitch. It made me feel so good as we marched down the streets of downtown El Paso all together. Together we walked--guests, volunteers, community members, complete strangers--and we were all calling for the same thing: a way to end the increasing hostility and violence directed against the immigrant. We highlighted policies that divide families, push migrants into the desert or into the arms of human traffickers where many perish, and spawn legislation like Arizona's SB1070.

Fewer than 32 hours

remain before the Procession and Mass. I am currently at Casa Teresa answering the phone and trying to tie up loose ends for the event (right now I'm waiting for direction from Ruben).

I just spoke with Srgt. Gomez of the El Paso Police Department about what would happen in the event that the number of people attending the procession should exceed the capacity of the sidewalk, which is where our permit stipulates we process. I was quite nervous about this discussion, to be honest. Srgt. Gomez had some excellent news for us...the police are actually planning to close the streets entirely. Thank goodness! That takes a load off my shoulders in terms of safety as well as legality of our permits...

good news!

So today we finally were able to pick up those permits! We had a big all-staff meeting this morning, and since I was officially on AM shift, it made more sense for Kyla to go pick them up instead of me. I really wish I could have gone to pick them up--the satisfaction would have been mindblowing...but ultimately it's not about me, or Kyla, or anyone else. It's about the event, and the impact we hope it will have.

Apparently, the folks down at city hall initially were giving Kyla a hard time about picking the permits up since they had seen me doing a lot of the leg-work, especially over the last couple of days this past work-week.

Day 45 maybe????

I waited a bit longer in the lobby outside a cafe. I refused to end my stakeout until I got some results. It just so happens that the woman from Parks and Recreation (who I will refer to as LW) came down there for lunch! I had picked the perfect spot to make sure she couldn't avoid me.

I watched as she ate lunch with some of her colleagues and I felt like predator waiting to pounce on its own meal.

Days go by...

I am currently downstairs in the lobby of El Paso's City Hall.
Waiting.

It is only six days until the Procession and Mass in Response to Border Violence and despite many visits to speak with city representatives and even more phone calls, we still have not been able to get the permits.

To make matters worse, the city work-week is only Monday through Thursday, so if I am not able to get the permits today, then the entire weekend will pass...then it will be Monday-- T minus two days.

A two-day ballistic retrospective

I have the day off until 2pm today. I decided to catch up on news, so I went to my usual sources:
http://www.nytimes.com-->my national news source
http://www.elpasotimes.com-->where I keep up on El Paso news in English
http://www.lapolaka.com-->a Spanish language news-blog
http://www.diario.com.mx/secciones/El_Paso.html-->Spanish language newspaper in El Paso

I happened across an article at the El Paso Times that caught my attention. The headline read, "Gunfire from Juárez usually heard, not seen"

I clicked on the article. The first line read, The gunfire from Juárez that struck El Paso City Hall on Tuesday was unusual.


My first thought, "Gunfire? City Hall? What day did I go to City Hall?"

day 35 or something...

I have a lot of things on my mind right now. Usually, as you have seen, I try to at compose sentences and paragraphs. Right now, however, the ideas swimming around in my head won't stay still long enough for me to capture them that way. I'm settling for bullet points instead.

I've lost track of what "Day" it is, but I know I've been here exactly one month!

The past couple of days have been pretty hectic. I wrote my previous post while on my Casa Teresa shift. I was literally waiting with nothing to do, so I thought, why not write some? I actually ended up writing quite a bit.

After lunch, though, my activity became as fast as it had been slow before. Ruben Garcia, our director, came into the office and asked, "Dara, can I borrow you for a bit?" I said "Sure."

Sunday and Monday

Sunday, as I'm sure most of you are aware, was Father's Day, and we decided to have a special cookout to mark the occasion. All of the guests at Casa Vides (A. House's sister shelter where mostly long-term women and families reside) joined us in the A. House parking lot. We grilled burgers, gulped sodas, inhaled sandia and feasted on cake. We invited the fathers to go through the buffet line first. It made me sad to think about all of the families that were divided by the border on that day, and every day for that matter. It made ache for the children at Vides and A. House whose fathers are not in the picture. It made me proud for the men who were working and sending money back to feed their kids.

Day 24 (already?!)

The next day (Day 22) I worked at Casa Teresa in the office again. I did some research about Sergio Adrian Hernandez Güereca, the teenage boy who was shot and killed by border patrol on June 7th under the bridge between Juarez and El Paso. My research focused on negative allegations made against Sergio, specifically on any criminal past he might have had. Regardless of whether Sergio worked for coyotes or was involved in something much worse, in the United States we have a wonderful institution called due process.

Day 21

Yesterday I had my first guest welfare meeting for a guest whom I will refer to as "R." Each guest at Annunciation House has what is called their "contact volunteer" who serves more-or-less as their social worker during their stay at the house.

Day 19 (whoops...sorry about the past few days)

Although interesting things are always happening here, nothing out of the ordinary (for A. House) has happened recently.

I had my day off yesterday and finally got to meet up with the other SCB fellows (Dimple, Sarah, and Laura) at UTEP. It was really good seeing them and getting to spend some fun quality time.

Although we are all in El Paso, the environments that we live in are very different. From what I've heard about the work all of them are doing (Laura at Border Network for Human Rights, Dimple at MHMR, and Sarah with FEMAP), it's all really incredible and I'm so proud of them and for them. Our internships are different, however, in that when they come home, it is a college dorm.

Day 15

It's hard to believe I'm beginning my third week here!

In some ways it has already gone so quickly, yet in other ways it feels as though I've been here forever. It's difficult imagining myself just two weeks ago.

Days 13 and 14

What did I do yesterday? I'm so tired I can't really remember. The heat has taken a lot out of me. The high temperature yesterday was 107 degrees and we still have NO air conditioning.

I've been diving into my house responsibilities, scrubbing the kitchen like crazy. It's pretty gross, and I'm glad to be making a bit of a difference. I keep finding random goo and dead bugs. Ew. At least it's getting better.

Like most things, the grime in the kitchen was easy to ignore at a distance...I hadn't taken a closer look to see just how bad it was. It serves as a good analogy to being here. There are so many problems, like the immigration crisis, that are easy to ignore when you don't see them up close. Once you've seen the problem up close though, and how troubling the grime is, one can't help but feel compelled to do something about it...

Day 12

I apologize to anyone whom this may upset, but I went to Ciudad Juarez yesterday with four volunteers from Annunciation House. Family and friends strongly discouraged me from going, and I understand why.

It is known to be a very volatile place.

I didn't feel like I could live and work at Annunciation House, often serving people from Ciudad Juarez, without knowing where they are coming from. I had to see for myself.

Day 11 (I wrote this yesterday, but the internet was down)

Today is my final day of "orientation" at Annunciation House. I supposedly will have learned enough to be a full volunteer here...responsible for being a contact volunteer (kind of like a case worker to help guests figure out their course of action) as well as being fully capable of being on shift solo with no one else around. Granted, I can always bounce ideas off other volunteers, which is encouraged, but it's still a bit intimidating, as it probably should be.

More of Day 9 and some of Day 10 (today)

Yesterday after walking around downtown El Paso I relaxed a bit and then went to a capoeira group with Dunya, another volunteer who is the house coordinator at A. House. It was really fun and intense, but now I am pretty sore.

Days 8 and 9 (yesterday and today)

Yesterday I had my first solo PM shift. Overall I would say that it went well. Some guests pushed the boundaries to see if they could aprovecharan de la nueva voluntaria(take advantage of the new volunteer). I took a hardliner stance with most people because I know that in order to get respect from them, they need to trust that I treat everyone fairly...even if it's about something simple, like storing soft drinks for guests in the fridge (which we don't).

The most stressful part of shift is opening the door to an unfamiliar face.

Day 7 (I wrote this yesterday, but the internet was down)

We started off the morning continuing our orientation.  We watched two documentaries: one focused on the journey of migrants across the border, and the second was about the femicides of Ciudad Juarez (called Bajo Juarez).  Following the videos, we also began to discuss some of the really heavy issues facing us as volunteers.

The first of those issues was the legality of what it is that we do at Annunciation House.  There is a federal statute (I think 1243, if I'm remembering correctly) that has existed since the 1960s that prohibits "harboring, aiding, and abetting" certain undocumented("illegal") immigrants. 

Day 6

We got a HUGE food donation today from a church...it's pretty exciting. We got two massive sheet cakes, tons of pasta, chicken, and garlic bread. All the new volunteers decided to throw a FIESTA tonight with dancing in celebration.  We decided to cook dinner instead of having guests do it in order to celebrate.  Finding guests to cook is one of the WORST parts of being on shift, so this will really help to inspire some fun spirit.  We're even planning on having some salsa dancing. Hopefully that will end up happening :-)

as we say in Annunciation... a comer!

a festejar!

Day 5

So this morning I had my first solo AM shift! I survived!  I slept really poorly last night because I kept thinking of everything I would be needing to do.  Since it's the weekend, thankfully shift does not start until 7AM (instead of 6AM).  The house was a lot emptier today compared to the other days because many of the guests were out looking for work, both for the day or possibly more long term.  Overall, the shift was fairly "quiet," but I was still running around answering the door, phone, fetching items for guests from the tiendita, assigning chores, prepping cleaning and meals, cooking and sorting beans, checking fruit, trying to chat-up guests, etc.

Day 3 or 4...a veces no se contar

Yesterday the three other new volunteers and I shadowed Amanda (Volunteer coordinator) on the PM guest servant shift. While on the guest servant shift, that one particular volunteer is totally in charge of running the house, answering the phone and door, etc. Everything. It was really good for Amanda that we were all shadowing and helping yesterday because it was a CRAZY shift.

Between 2pm when the shift began and 10pm when the shift was over SO much stuff happened...apparently it was an exceedingly unusual day...even at A House

Day 2

Today I'm playing a bit of catch up, but I think I'm doing alright. Yesterday morning when I was sick everyone was going through orientation about how to do the AM shift at Annunciation House.  Each volunteer is responsible at some point (weekly) for running a shift.  While "on shift" that volunteer is responsible for answering the door, phone, directing the meals (breakfast and lunch) and chores, and basically everything. We shadowed Sarah today, so we had to be ready to go at 6am.  It's a lot of work, but it's all necessary.

Among the four volunteers I have the first AM shift this Saturday.

Day 1(ish)

So first, a recap of the rest of yesterday (Day 0):
I ate dinner with the other volunteers and a few of the house guests; we had rice, beans, chicken "flautas," salad, and some other things. As usual, I was the last to finish eating since I'm an incredibly slow eater.  I was able to talk to a couple of the guests, Margarita and Rosa for a bit in Spanish, and it was really nice.

All of the guests had a lot of trouble with my name. Margarita kept thinking i said my name was "Yarda" (meaning yard in Spanish as you probably guessed). So in order to clarify, Taylor and I kept repeating "es como Sarah, pero con D" (It's like Sarah, but with a D).  We had a good laugh about it.

Day 0

I am writing from my top bunk in my new room for the next 10 weeks.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. A "bit" is a bit of an understatement.
The other volunteers who I've had the opportunity to meet all seem really interesting. I'm looking forward to getting to know them.

fever

I keep looking at my flight reservation for El Paso in anxious anticipation...I have no idea what I will encounter there.  Right now, though, I concerned about even getting on the plane.